“…David knows just the right places to touch and how to smooch a girl
to get wet”
Nneka narrated the gist of her escapade with David to her friends, who
listened intently as she described perfectly the scenes of the previous night
with his crush. She missed no detail as she created a perfect imagination of
her narration to her friends, at least she owe them a succinct detail, after
all they were the ones that advised her to give David a chance, and she is
beginning to like that advice she once detested, just after one night with him.
Mirian could no longer endure her ignorance, she has heard a lot of
words that she didn’t understand, but she felt shy to ask, she was scared of
the embarrassment se got the last time she asked for what it meant for someone
to be turned on. She was laughed at, before Cynthia explained it to him.
This time she didn’t understand the context of ‘wet’ in Nneka’s
statement, as much as she didn’t want to be embarrassed, she needed to know the
answer.
“Please Nneka, what does it mean for a girl to get wet?” she blurted
out without checking if it was the best way to phrase the question.
“What? Don’t tell me you are so naïve that you don’t know the meaning
of wet?” Nneka exclaimed, shocked at question her friend asked.
“You mean…”
A lot of us grew up with the almighty formula of staying indoors under
lock and keys even when we are doing nothing, all in the name of discipline; we
grew up with the Binary sequence of staying on our own, talking to no one
except members of our family from dawn to dusk.
Probably, we inherited or learnt these formulas from our parents who
deny us the basic codes of association with peers, all in the name of being
strict and disciplined, even when they don't censor the movies we watch.
They breed us into nerds and book maniacs. And most of us form
alliance with eye glasses even before we are 10, all because we have been
embedded with the wrong codes that life depends on only what we get from lines
and white pages; they make us flirt with books like it was going to be a life
partner. And out of respect, and most times fear, we say "I do",
allowing ourselves to be knotted with books for better, for worse.
Our parents do all these in the guise that they are protecting us from
woes that we would still meet when we get out of our rooms, which they would
eventually open when time and nature calls for change.
They forget that these formulas of Non Association, which they teach
us can never solve any social equation, it makes us stupid and confused, when
we are finally let out of our rooms to mingle in the society.
We end up meeting new teachers and programmers, and because we lack
the basic codes, these Programmers format our brains and install whatever
pleases them, and whatever programs they install, are what we live by for the
most part of our lives.
As much as I am in support of morality and charity beginning from
home, I still say a big NO to parents who lie under the phrase to deny their
kids the basic things they should know about the society.
Teach that child to associate with friends, but also remember to tell
him or her that in the midst of Angels, there are demons; teach the child about
the opposite sex, but also inculcate in him or her that in the pleasures of
whatever lies beneath the waist of an opposite sex, there is a consequence.
A child with a good sex education can never fall prey to the societal
temptations, because he or she already knows the basics. And even when she
does, she knows the access codes to the exit point.
Most people get wild after a good start, because they want to have
some fun of what they've been denied of while they grew up.
Children who discuss their relationship status with their parents, shall
rarely fall prey to relationship scandals, because they are already wise enough
to know when he or she loves them or not. Don't scare your children away with a
tantrum or spanking when they announce that they are dating a friend, rather,
get close enough to know who the friend is, find out the social impact they can
make on your kids and advise your kids from your findings.
If you scare your kids away at any mention of relationship, then you would
be living with pretenders who would be saints when you are around and demons
when you are not.
As much as most conventional elders might shut me up, I would be glad
if my son could walk up to me and say
"Dad, I am crushing on a girl and I don't know how to go about
it"
Then I would sit him down and explain in details the good and bad of
relationships, and as well advise him to start one or wait to a later age.
The problem we have most times is that when our Parents teach us about
sex, relationship and lifestyle, they only tell us all the bad about it and nothing
good. And when we meet the society, it teaches us the both sides, and then we
feel our Parents lied to us, because they only told us about one side of the
coin instead of the both.
Teach the kids the both sides and advise them on the better part, your
advice can influence them only if they know you are telling them the truth. So
that when the society meets them, they would realize it was same page and
nothing different.
Augustus Bill
©2014
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