Back to God

 In those airy moments of restlessness when you stand glued to a spot by the words of the doctor, of how  much they have tried and how they have done their best but can’t get her out of coma, do you realise that with all the money you have you can’t even save her life.

The doctor said that all she needs to be saved is just a miracle, too bad miracles are not sold at Shoprites and Roban Stores.

Then you run down the halls of your old church, and kneeling before the old cross that you once cursed, and all you could say was “God please save her”. You didn’t even remember to thank him for what he has done, and never ever even bothered to ask for forgiveness for what you have done.

It never occurred to you that those parts were part of the prayers, but not because you weren’t taught but because you’ve moved far away from this old cross that you’ve lost thoughts.

For a while you kneel before his presence, waiting for him to make a sentence, but probably he is speaking to you but you can’t hear because you are too lost to feel his presence, and like a bee stung to your conscience, you are pained as to how you have pushed him to your past tense.

Then you walk back to her ward in the hospital, where she is glued to the bed and laced with clean needles. You can no longer sip your coffee because you have to watch the drops in the tube of her IV.

As days roll by, you feel like giving up on her living again, but you still hope on God, not because you believe in him or follow his footsteps but because he is the only option left.

He looks down on you, merciful as he is, and regardless of your sins, he plants his healing seeds and snatches her from the hands of death.

He saves us even when don’t need to be saved. Should we wait till that gory moment of hopelessness before we appreciate him for his grace?

Thank for a new day, new week and a New Month. I bless you Lord.

#AugustusBill