The Sermon

"Our topic for today's reflection is Abstinence before Marriage [Virginity]" the voice of the pastor echoed from the old Mega Phone that served as the Church's Public Address system.

"Mtcheeeew" I heard a long hiss from where I sat with the Revised Standard Version of the King James Bible opened before me. I lowered my eye glass, which had become my reading aid, since I

developed Myopia years ago. I turned to the choir stand where I suspected the hiss came from, to see the mouth of Tina the Choir mistress shaped like that of the parrot for another long hiss.

Why was she hissing? I wondered, this was the youth fellowship and topics as this are very much accepted, as they help us shape our moral life. But why should Tina be hissing? She just led the congregation in an angelic, tingling and melodious worship. Her voice was chipped like that of the morning bird, as smooth as a whistle; she can rekindle old blissful memories with her pipe voice. Could it be that her voice could also lead you to a satisfied bedroom pleasure? If not, I wonder why she hissed at the Pastor's topic.

"A lot of the ladies here, I must tell are not virgins" the pastor continued from the pulpit were he stood in his old grey suit, black shirt and red tie. Most times I wonder if the pastor had no colour sense or if he was colour blind; his combination of colours really marvels me.

"We think sex is free for all" he continued, without taking cognizance of the effect of his message on the congregation, who are gradually becoming uncomfortable at this unwelcomed topic.

I saw the disgust look on Linda's face. In her mind she must be questioning the pastor for using such words in church. Sitting behind Linda was Tony, the handsome Guitarist. Rumor has it that both of them are dating, though they've never denied it, they've not accepted it either. Tony was already losing interest in the sermon, as he was busy skimming through the pages of his bible, and I am sure he wasn't looking for any verse in particular; something to keep the mind away from the conscience pricking sermon.

Grace was smiling sheepishly from the centre aisle where she sat with her younger brother Damian. She has always picked interest in topics related to sex, maybe to learn new techniques or to appraise herself for not being guilty. No one can tell, but from my curious observations, it should be the later. She was this quiet church girl; you only notice her presence when she answers a question during fellowship. The most she can do to a guy is a handshake, and it doesn't come often. It is usually a wave and a smile that revealed a set of coloured teeth. She was outrageously beautiful, apart from her teeth which she said became coloured after she had wrong medications for a sickness we never got to know of.

The sermon was already taking more than I expected, and it was more of admonition than a sermon, it was as if the pastor had caught one of his members red handed in the illicit affair and was now using the sermon to taunt the person.

It pains a lot to hear one’s scene been publicized, even when the people don’t know you are the culprit; there is this guilt that comes with knowing that you are lead actor in the horrible and disgusting movie being talked about.

We no longer wish to hear the truth, anything can go for a sermon, but not the truth, because it hurts. These days people want to hear about how they would buy cars even when they don’t have a job.

“Imagine the car you would drive, the house you would build, and the work you would get…” those are the sermons that interest us the most, any other thing outside that is not allowed. The pastors tell us of how rich we would get, without telling of the road to the wealth. The truth remains that, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Aliko Dangote, Tony Elumelu, and other prominent wealthy men did not become rich because they shouted the loudest amen during their pastors Amen, the ‘in Jesus name’ started from their hard work, and their faith was the Amen that sealed.

Why wait for a Visa, when you didn’t apply for one, or hope for a car or a house when you don’t even have a job, or hope for a lucrative appointment with Shell or Chevron, when you didn’t even attend school and has no prerequisite for the job. You would only end at their gate, as the gate man.

Success doesn’t come with Amen alone, there is more to it. Hard work and Faith are the two elements that decide your faith in life.

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Augustus Bill

©2015