What I Hate About You

First Relationships are easier to remember. You remember the date it started, and possibly the scenario and venue. You don’t forget the first kiss and how you were lost in the euphoria of the soft succulent touch. How could you forget the first sex? Not even the sight of that innocent virgin blood nor the pain you felt while his sledge hammer rammed down your pink walls could wipe off those moments of ecstasy.

You even try to remember how long he pleaded for your permission, before you finally caved into his pressure of penetration.

Soon the heat gets hotter and the Banging comes often, you can no longer remember even your last fuck with him. You visit him, he visits you; you sleepover, he sleeps over. On a day Fuck is enjoying his Ramadan fast, you makeup with make outs. You write him honeys and send him gifts on his birthday. You probably gave him a blowjob as a birthday gift. ***Wow*** and maybe sent him your nude pictures during the marathon relationship of fun.

The ride is fun and looks like it would last forever, it’s your first time so you believe virtually everything, and play deaf to your friends when they share their experiences of how heartless those trousers could be. ‘He is different, and better than the rest’, you tell yourself.

You love him so much, and you are so interested in knowing why he loves you, he tells you sweet things, you blush and laugh. But you forget to know what he hates about you. You don’t care, he says he loves you, that’s all that matters. You are comfortable with why he loves you and not bothered with what he hates about you. It doesn’t even occur to you that the strength of a person is the weakness, and vice versa.

One day, what he hates about you would give him enough reason to leave you, because he has seen what he loves in another skirt. Suddenly he bolts, and too bad he didn’t even wait till your birthday to reciprocate the blowjob and honey messages. ***Chai! Nne Ndo***

The moment he leaves, you rush to innocent and kind bottles of John Walker, Magic Moments, and AK 47 Vodka to gain some consolation prizes. You wail and tear out yourself for he has broken your heart. ***That’s what they always say***

As heartless as you are, you run to your bestie; that guy you locked up in the presidential suite of Friend Zone, you don’t even give him a peck but always run to him when the Pilot 1 is misbehaving. He is your adviser, your lawyer, your doctor, your therapist, and sometimes your banker.

You tell him your heart-breaking story. He sits you down and begins to play his role in the drama of your life; consoling and assuring you that it is alright, deep down his bottomless heart, he is so happy that the obstacle blocking his way to your heart is gone, maybe he could try his luck to woo you again, but unfortunately you forget him the moment the pains of the broken heart are no more. ***Babe you are very Selfish, Give a Nigga some green light na***

They don’t leave because they got tired of loving what they used to love about you, they usually leave either because they realized something they hate about you, or probably got tired of tolerating that thing they hate about you, since you were so unwilling to notice.

He could love you because of your smile and hate you because of your arrogance. If you don’t realize on time and work on fixing your arrogance, the days would come when he would see your arrogance even in your smile.

***Applies to both genders ooo***

‪#‎AugustusBill